so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
