I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
His hands were made for my vagina.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
