I'm drive I can fine osifer
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
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