You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
BRING THE BAGELS
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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