At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
