im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
