My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
