just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
