fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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