Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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