Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
