I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
time to smoke my breakfast
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
