Are we in a gay sports bar?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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