Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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