I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
