Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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