oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I've blown a few things in my day
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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