hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
