oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
sex in a hospital.. check
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
