these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
