i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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