they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
