New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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