I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
