I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
