i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
