Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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