he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
