I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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