ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
