so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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