Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
