Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You dont lie about slip and slides
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
