did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
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