yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
