I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
