singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
