is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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