bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
