I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
