IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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