ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
