Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Congratulations! We have a period
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
