Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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