When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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