Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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