I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
