You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
