i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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