I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Will exercising make me less horny?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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