At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
