I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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